Sue Scheff: What if Your Teen Was Here to Teach YOU?

Author and educator, Sue Blaney has written some fantastic parenting books targeted at teenagers. I recently received her audio and workbook set on You’re Empowered! Parenting Teens with Conviction, Communication and Love, and cannot believe all the fantastic information she has included! If you have a tween entering into “teenhood” or have a teen – this is great resource for you.

I also check in with her Blog too – Please Stop The Roller Coaster, and this week the subject of what can your teen teach you is one I had to share.

By Sue Blaney

You’re probably pretty tuned in to your role as “teacher.” To teach your teenagers the skills, values and lessons you feel they need, you use every tactic available to you; you coach, advise, demonstrate, direct, cajole, arm-twist, model, lecture… and more. This is an important, vital even, part of your role as parent. But consider that maybe the reverse is true, too…maybe your child is here to teach you as well as learn from you. If this is true, how would that change your relationship? How might this alter the way you communicate? Would this change the way you look at your teen?

What are the things you have learned from your child? I’ve learned patience, creativity, and how to approach things differently at times. I’ve learned how to give space when all I really wanted to do was hold on to them tighter. I’ve learned to rely on faith that things will work out, even if I’m really not terribly confident.

I marvel at how looking at my daughter is in some ways like looking in a mirror for me. This is less true in regards to her wonderful qualities than it is when she is doing something that is annoying. When I’m not too caught up in the moment, I do have a little voice that points out there is a lesson here for me. More often than not it is because the behavior I’m witnessing that is irritating is behavior that I exhibit myself. Her behavior – and my response to it- can teach me a lot in those moments… but those are the most difficult moments in which to take in this lesson.

Try it. Try to focus on what your teen can teach you, even when you find yourself at odds with him. He’s treating you with disrespect? Perhaps that is a good time to practice a humorous way to redirect the interaction. She’s late for curfew and you’re worried sick? Perhaps here is where you get to practice the art of staying firm without expressing anger. She’s tactlessly treating her younger brother as though he is subordinate and stupid? She didn’t pick up this attitude, tone or manner from someone you know, did she? Truth be told, too often that nasty tone that comes out periodically around here sounds a little too familiar to me.

Ponder this question: What is my child teaching me? I’d love to hear about what you learn.

Follow Sue Blaney on Twitter @sueblaney

Sue Scheff: What is the Choking Game and Teens?

The Choking Game - a teen thing? What is the Choking Game? It is definitely not a game any parent want to learn about the hard way. Learn more now about this horrific game through G.A.S.P. (Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play).

I received an email from a mother that almost lost her son to this game. She is now part of an advocacy group to help inform and educate others about this choking game. She understands she almost lost her son, as a matter of fact, she thought she had. Miraculously, her son survived after several days in a coma following this incident. As a parent advocate, I always encourage others to share their stories, mistakes, experiences etc in an effort to help others. This is one of the many parents that is hoping you will learn from her firsthand experiences.

Source: G.A.S.P.

It’s not a game at all—just an act of suffocating on purpose.

Adolescents cut off the flow of blood to the brain, in exchange for a few seconds of feeling lightheaded. Some strangle themselves with a belt, a rope or their bare hands; others push on their chest or hyperventilate.

When they release the pressure, blood that was blocked up floods the brain all at once. This sets off a warm and fuzzy feeling, which is just the brain dying, thousands of cells at a time.

From this parent:
Holding my son, as he took his first breath of life, for the second time took my breath away. He got a second chance to make a better choice. What I witnessed defies logic and reason. I made a choice to quit trying to understand, and instead pour my passionate gratitude for his life into advocacy work - to be a ripple in the wave of some much needed change. Stopping this behavior only starts with awareness. Ed4Ed is a program of education for educators. I consider all who possess knowledge, all upon acquiring it who connect with youth, care for and/or guide them, are then in turn ambassadors of that truth – incumbent educators.

When I am personally presenting from the materials of the program, I conclude by passing that torch to those with whom I speak. This deadly activity, masquerading as a “game” is an international problem, with a simple solution, educate! Give our kids the facts and they’ll make a better choice. Once he became aware of what had happened, Levi just shook his head and said “I didn’t know, Mom. People pass out all the time. I didn’t know.” Not one boy in the 500 that attended his boarding school knew the facts. They studied physics, science, biology and anatomy. None thought of it as anything more than a parlor trick, something new to try, not drugs, not alcohol – just a game. When we know better, we do better. When they know better, they will too.

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Sue Scheff: Webinar from Education.com on Bullying

Bullying is part of your child’s life – find out how to reduce it in your neighborhood, at school, and online.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM PST

The most recent data indicates that more than half of all school aged children are directly involved in bullying either as a bully or as a victim. Many more are affected by bullying as witnesses or accomplices. Bullying is an ‘equal opportunity’ issue affecting kids of all races, genders, and socio-economic statuses. While bullying is a serious and pervasive problem there is hope.

By learning the truth about bullying and taking action as a family, parents can help keep their kids safer and happier in their neighborhood, at school, and online.

Education.com and the American Association of School Administrators (AASA) invite all parents to participate in a powerful and free web seminar that will reveal common myths surrounding bullying, the real facts, and actions parents can take to reduce bullying. The web seminar will be delivered by renowned bullying expert Dr. Shelly Hymel, PhD who will present a highly interactive session with plenty of time devoted to answering participants’ questions. Don’t miss this event – chances are your child is experiencing bullying. This is your chance to find out how you can help.Click here to register today!

https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/170177164

Sue Scheff: Middle School Survival Kit

Featuring real kids talking about real issues, this Emmy award-winning Connect With Kids series helps inspire communication between parents and their children about the challenges, pressures and influences every pre-teen faces. Making it easier to talk to your Middle-Schooler about today’s tough issues, this Middle School Survival Kit contains programs covering these timely topics: Internet Dangers, Drugs & Alcohol, Dating & Sex, Anxiety & Depression.

Sue Scheff - Next Generation Parenting

Wow - I recently was introduced to this fantastic up-to-date information for parents on parenting the next generation.

From new parenting techniques, ideas, and how to be a smart parent today NexGen Parenting has it all! They also have a great selection of books and blogs to learn from.

Here is a brief example of their vast information:

Xtreme Parenting

The slacker image that Generation X earned in the early 90s is gone. No longer seen as lazy and directionless, the thirty- and forty-somethings of today are regarded as driven go-getters. Extreme and maniacally focused on everything they do from sports (X games), to work (Silicon Valley pioneers staying up all night to launch new tech products), to parenting. That’s right; GenX is turning out to be some of the most conservative, protective, proactive parents in history. They enact legislation for smaller class sizes, volunteer at school, leave their fast-paced jobs to stay home with their children, and homeschool their kids in record numbers.
In a modern twist, Gen X parents use technology to ensure the safety of their young. Baby monitors with video cameras or alarms that go off when infants stop breathing are immensely popular. Nannycams and Webcams are used to keep an eye on kids in daycare. Parents today purchase swings that play music, voice-activated bouncy seats with bubbling brook sounds, and software to teach phonics to preschoolers. While the last generation of kids begged to carry cell phones and pagers to be cool, Gen X parents insist that their children stay wired and reachable for peace of mind.

Learn more at http://www.nextgenparenting.com/.

Sue Scheff featured on Your Time with Kim Iverson

Sue Scheff talks with Talk Show Radio Host, Kim Iverson about her new book, Wit's End! and her experiences with her own teen as well as helping to educate parents on today's teens.

Wit's Ends details her experiences with Carolina Springs Academy and WWASPS - take a moment to review http://www.aparentstruestory.com/ - and learn more. Especially if you are considering residential therapy.

Sue Scheff on Parental Power

Paul Jenkins offers an informational website of podcasts that help educate parents on raising today's teens and kids. In June, I joined Dr. Jenkins in a great conversation on Wit's End and how parents are dealing with today's generation of teens.

Sue Scheff on South Florida Voices

Sue Scheff was on South Florida Voices and talked about her new book - Wit's End!

Hosted by Deborah Ally, South Florida Voices features in-depth analysisof issues affecting the lives of South Floridians.Recent shows have explored health care, personal financial planning, the arts and community resources.

Sue Scheff - Here's Help, Inc!

I was honored to be a guest on the Y-100 Here's Help Radio Show talking about my new book, Wit's End! as well as parenting teens today.

About Here's Help, Inc.

Founded in 1968, Here’s Help has become one of Miami-Dade County’s premiere providers of residential and outpatient substance abuse treatment, annually serving 800 adolescents and young adults starting at the age of 13. Funded by local, state and federal contracts, Here’s Help has excelled as a substance abuse treatment provider and is lauded by the Departments of Corrections, Department of Juvenile Justice, Department of Children and Families (DCF), and Probation and Parole for its treatment, educational and preventive services.

Learn more at www.helpfl.com .